


Dream of Us

by youngho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crying, M/M, Not That Kind of Soulmate AU, Rain, Sad, Sad Ending, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 05:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngho/pseuds/youngho
Summary: Doyoung wakes up at the end of a dream, wishing he could go back to sleep and keep dreaming.





	Dream of Us

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** this isn't the soulmate au you might want or be thinking about hahaha read the tags and IM SORRY THANK YOU. if you're confused about anything or something, uh, read the end notes? maybe the answer is there?

Doyoung wakes up with a start. He blinks blearily up at the ceiling, his heart hammering in his chest and gets up. He takes a few deep breaths, eyes falling close, and the flashes of his dream come to mind. He recalls two people, skin touching skin, heat—something so hot, it almost burns him—and then nothing. When he opens his eyes again, he finds them heavy, almost swollen. 

He closes his eyes again, fingertips trying to see if there’s something wrong. The touch is cool, comforting, but when he pulls away, he finds his fingers glistening with… sweat? The weather is cool, having rained the majority of last night. His forehead and neck remain dry. Tears? 

_Did I cry last night?_ he thinks to himself. He wipes at his eyes and cheeks, trying to remember what his dream was about, but when he closes his eyes, none of the flashes come back. He can’t remember anything, but somehow, his heart remains heavy. 

A loud ringing sound pulls him away from his thoughts, and Doyoung sighs. He silences his alarm and looks out of his window. The weather still looks gloomy from the storm, and it doesn’t help brighten his already dampened mood. 

He drags his feet off the bed, pulling his body into the bathroom, to cook breakfast, to get dressed, until he’s grabbing his things and going to work. Even the morning commute seems dull today, with gray skies hanging above him. It doesn’t rain, but the clouds above look dark and heavy. Doyoung has the growing feeling of wanting to go home, to skip work, but he knows he can’t. 

He turns on the radio of his car, trying to look for a station that can brighten the atmosphere, but even the bubbly songs of girl groups do nothing. He shuts it off before it can irritate him instead. He sits in the silence, biting his lip, the heaviness in his chest growing and growing until he can barely breathe. 

“Why do I feel like something bad’s going to happen?” he asks himself. 

He braces himself for any kind of bad news, for a hiccup at work, maybe even a quarrel with a friend. But no matter what happens, his heart and his body continues to grow heavy, until he’s dragging himself in and out of his office to get things done. 

Nothing bad happens at work; he doesn’t quarrel with his friends. Instead, they seem to sense that something is wrong because Taeil starts popping in his cubicle to tell him random words. Usually it would irritate him and then make him laugh, but Doyoung can barely lift the corners of his lips for a smile. Youngho’s jokes and funny stories at least make him smile, but it takes almost all of his strength to do so. 

He knows they whisper and talk about him in the break room, can feel their stares adding to the weight pressing against his chest. He doesn’t bother explaining himself. _It’s probably just one of those days_ , he thinks. _I’ll get over it tomorrow._

When work ends, Doyoung is the first to leave. It’s pouring now as he exits the parking lot of his office building, his wipers barely keeping up with the torrent. Still, he makes it home safely. He foregoes any kind of home-cooked meal and opts for warm, instant ramen. He wraps a comforter around himself and eats his dinner in front of the TV. 

Thunders roar, and rain beats heavily down on his windows, so he wraps his comforter tighter around himself and slurps some of the hot soup of the ramen. His TV is the only light in his studio apartment, but it feels comfortable for the first time since he woke up. The comforter and spicy soup helps warm his body against the weather, and he picks up the remote to surf the channel. He pauses on the news channel as he takes a bite of noodles, savoring the salty and spicy flavor. 

The face of a young man flashes on the screen, and something about it seems familiar, something about those pink lips, that dimpled smile, the bright eyes. It feels like Doyoung has seen him before even though he knows he hasn’t. _I would know if I had,_ he tells himself.

_“Best-selling author Jung Jaehyun dies today at the age of 28,”_ the announcer says. Doyoung puts his bowl down and turns up the volume. 

_“His agent has confirmed that Jung Jaehyun-ssi died today after his car was hit by a truck. The truck driver was reported to have been driving drunk, swerving into Jung Jaehyun-ssi’s car at 12:03 a.m. Jung Jaehyun-ssi was then admitted to Seoul General Hospital where doctors operated on him before confirming his death at 1:46 a.m…”_

The voice of the reporter falls away, barely reaching Doyoung. All he can see is the blurred image of the wreckage captured on security cameras. The lights of the ambulance flash before it all pans back to Jaehyun’s smiling face. And that’s when Doyoung breaks. 

He gasps into his hands. His chest throbs and aches, and tears stream freely down his cheeks. He tries to breathe but it all comes out as sobs, and then he falls off the couch, falls to his knees, and he’s crying. He’s sobbing into his fist, but he doesn’t know why. He cries and cries, and when he looks up, the announcer is going on about Jaehyun’s funeral. 

They flash a video of him as they talk about the details of his wake. In the video, he’s smiling, he’s saying something, and he looks happy and vibrant. He looks _alive_ , and Doyoung knows. _Jaehyun was_ the one. 

He closes his eyes, and the vague flashes of his dream from this morning are clearer. He can see him, wrapped around Jaehyun, with Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around him. Kisses, their lips touching skin and fingers exploring every inch of their bodies. Heat, not only from them, but from the emotion building between them. And when he opens his eyes, Doyoung’s dreams shatter. 

Jaehyun is— _was_ his soulmate. And now… 

“He’s… gone…” 

The cry that rips out of his throat burns, but the pain in his heart, will never compare. It hurts, hurts to breathe, to live. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening,” he mutters to himself. He pounds his fist on his floor and cries and cries, but the heaviness in his heart doesn't lessen. It grows until he’s pounding on his chest, anything to make it stop hurting. 

“Please make it stop,” he pleads as he cries and sobs. “Stop.” 

Doyoung cries himself to sleep, and when he wakes up the next morning, he pushes his body off the floor. His back aches from having slept on the cold, hard ground, but it’s nothing to the cracks in his still-beating heart. He sits and just stares at his TV still shining. He turns it off and continues to stare at its blankness. 

“I didn’t even know him.” He scoffs to himself, but it has none of the feeling. “But why does it hurt so much?” 

The tears start to fall again, and all Doyoung can think about is how, if none of this had happened, maybe today or tomorrow, he could’ve bumped into Jaehyun and they could have met and fallen in love. But the reality is much different, far sadder and more painful than he ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> SO HELLO. if you're here, then that means you made it through this monstrosity ahahhahaha. now to explain how this kinda fits? in my soulmate au kind of mind, weeeellllll so i was thinking about "what if, someone felt incredibly and terribly depressed one day and they didn't know why? WHAT IF!!! that day, their soulmate had died, and this soulmate of theirs they hadn't met yet so all they would feel was this inexplicable attachment to someone? they had never met? because that was their soulmate and he was gone before they even had the chance to meet!!!! luckily (or maybe unfortunately?) for doyoung, he finds out why he's feeling depressed and finds out that this soulmate of his THAT HE'D NEVER MET BEFORE had died and is now gone. ;; 
> 
> THAT'S ALL BYE. THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. 


End file.
